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Life & Death & Love

If you love someone you are opening yourself up to the possibility of losing them. For that is how this earthly plane works. We are not promised tomorrow. The only way to avoid this pain is to never open oneself to love. Now this may seem like a safe, pain free option but, to me it would never be worth it. I would take a lifetime of pain for one day of love with you, always. That’s the beauty of this life down here on earth, the fragility, the hourglass, the time ticking away. And we know on a soul level we never really die, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less when we are here in this body, on this plane, feeling all this pain. It’s terrifying if you really think about it, any one of us could go at any second. We all have a time to be born and a time to die. Yet we drive around going 80mph forgetting to return phone calls and thinking there will be more time. Until one day there isn’t. Or we prepare and plan for the death of our elderly grandma only to be blindsided when one of our youth goes first. That’s the thing about life on earth, it always surprises you. All that planning and in the blink of an eye everything changes. My only advice is the advice of so many philosophers and poets, writers and elders, live each moment as if it were your last. It seems so simple and so obvious yet it is so challenging to do every day of this human experience. If you knew you would die tomorrow how differently would you live today? If you knew I would be gone so soon would you call me? Would you tell me how much you loved me? Just love. That is all. Just love your little heart out and then love some more. Because at the end of the day, when it’s all said and done, the love that we share is worth all the pain and suffering of losing. I would carry that weight a lifetime, because the pain we feel in their absence is equal to the depth of the love that we shared. I once read that grief is just love, all that love with nowhere to go. But that’s just it, there is somewhere for it to go. Love them still, love them anew, love them in spirit. I’ve always felt like the depth of my love grew even more in loss and grief, in death. I never knew how much I could love you until I lost you. And then this gaping hole in my heart taught me just how much I could love. I love you different now that you are no longer in this physical plane. I love you in ways I never knew before. I learned I can love you even when logic says you’re gone, I can feel you. I know when you are near. I can talk to you, I can hold your hand in the car, I can throw baseballs with you on your birthday. We just learn to love in different ways, when the spirit leaves the body. So don’t look back in regret, don’t forget the love that was shared, don’t let that painful grief rob you of the love. The love never dies.

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