Mercury conjunct Pluto in Capricorn
Deep, Real, Raw
Fears around money, image, worth, security, safety..
Credit card debt, unpaid bills, savings depleting, so much material debt
What is the solution? Moving? Change of jobs? Roommate? OTG, farmhouse, commune?
I feel so torn. I lost my job of ten years, a year ago, right after new year. It felt like it was the Universe shoving me out into the unknown. I was fearful but I knew I must trust that I am safe and provided for. I got a job two days later. It seemed like it was the obvious easy solution. I pursued my Astrology career. I built a website. I started doing readings at markets. I started selling tank tops. I hoped it would be an overnight success and instant transfer of energy and abundance from the previous material worldly work to the spirit based energy work. That has not been the case. It's apparent that it may be a more slow build kind of situation, and that is reflected in my chart as well. So I'm faced with the reality that this temporary fix work seems to be nearing its end. I am reluctant to return to the traditional work force. I am not the same human I was a year ago. So much has shifted, surfaced, healed, and evolved. I know my worth, my value, who I am and what I want. So why do I hesitate? It's time to apply for a job that is worldly secure and spiritually aligned. I know my worth and capability. It's time to acknowledge it and believe in me. The only thing standing in the way of me and the infinite abundance of possibility is me and my limiting beliefs. So if all the possibilities were available and in front of me, what would I want? What would I pick? My thoughts go to motherhood. That is my deepest desire. While I crave the career fulfillment and know that I am talented in my purposeful gift, and will always share it with this world, my Soul longs to mother above all else. To share my gifts at home first. To teach my babies. And then teach other babies and their babies' babies :) I long to teach and play with the pure hearts. Before the world has a chance to corrupt them, I want to love them and teach them to love themselves. I want to give the future generations the gift of permission to be exactly who they are! And yes this is not the traditional, modern day teaching style. What I long for is something that feels unfamiliar in this strange world of profit and production above all else. I long to play, to create, to dance and sing and magnify life-force! My deepest hearts desire is to teach the truest, most loving and beautifully freeing wisdom that dwells within. My heart pounds with love and Spirit, that energetic frequency of butterflies in sunlight, rosy hearts and sparkles of love. Oh what a beautiful energy. That is what I long to be aligned with. That is the signal I send out into the Universe. Highest timeline, Highest frequency, Highest vibration. It's an honor to be here. Now. In the midst of magic. The sunset, the light, the floating sparkles of angels. Baby bugs soaring through the skies. Birds chirping. Dogs barking signaling its sunset time! Winds of change surround. I breathe it in. It feels so good. Fearless. Faith, complete faith. Knowing its gonna be grand! Wow. Awestruck wonder. That is the presence of God. In Love. In Presence. Infinitely grateful for this experience. This sweet nectar of life, all this juicy essence. How could I ask for anything else. Thank You. In the now. I am free. I am love. I am.